Monday, March 23, 2009

christmas trees suck.

whoever decided that killing a tree should be a symbol of the birth of Christ should die.

seriously, think about it, since when should death be a symbol for life? and on the other hand, why don't we decorate a pine on MY birthday?? not that i would want to. it's not like Jesus would be offended if people didn't have a christmas tree.

Hizzah for people who have those fake trees, that's awesome and with our failing econoomy, think of all the money you would save in a lifetime?! holy shit! a freakin tree is like a hundred dollars so if i live to be 90, thats $9,000 of money wasted on a tree and not even including ornaments... don't get me started on those.

Lord have mercy. i mean a TREE. in your HOUSE. a tree in your house!!!!!!!! it makes no sense! think of the animals inhabiting that tree and you de-housed that poor creature?! how would you feel if your house was taken from you to be covered in lights and shiny colored spheres and shoved into the living room of some other huge ass house and thrown away a week later? like shit, that's how you'd feel!

or from the tree's perspective: to be hacked down at the ankles and propped up to die of thirst and be so malnouriched that all your hair ("needles") falls off? Hmmm? how's that sound? good? and not to mention that you would be decked out like a freak in old "felt cut-outs-on-a-string" pieces of shit that your kid made what it was a toddler and ugly shards of glass that have "our first christmas 1989" etched into it? and the final touch, you would have a big glittery star teetering on your head. and you thought trucker hats were ugly...

so in conclusion; darn christmas trees. darn them all to heck, and frick whoever supports them.

1 comment:

Ryan said...

You have a pithy, interesting sense of humor. This is a couple years old so I hope you are still writing, somewhere. The world needs interesting words to read. =)